What I Believe
Get Out of Other People’s Way
I believe that clocks are a waste,
That you shouldn’t be bounded by time,
But roam freely.
I believe that babies need muzzles,
As to not ruin movies and flights for the rest of us.
I believe that every fly has a right to fly,
But only when invited,
And they should stay the hell away from my food.
I believe that buzzy, bully bees are evil,
That behind there ugly faces lie evil plots
I believe that stars should be on street corners,
Not Starbucks,
And taxis should stop by them and not the middle of the road.
I believe that if you’re going to do construction on a road,
Don’t do it in the middle of the night,
Because those with real jobs have to get up early.
I believe that if you have an issue,
Then shut up because nobody wants to hear it,
…or read your whiny Facebook status.
I believe that if you start a fire,
You need to put it out,
And not burn others.
I think construction in Panama needs to stop,
Not to save the rainforest,
But because Panama has yet to spawn a good building.
I believe that the next Blackberry model needs a small battery,
So that everybody can look up and live life,
Instead of texting it away.
I believe that uprisings in the Middle East need to stop,
That people don’t need to die
because the next president is probably going to be just as bad.
I believe that everybody has a right to live,
But only if they accept it.
That your decisions shouldn’t affect others,
And –trust me- NOBODY wants to hear about your issues.
