Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Confession Tuesday: The Men Who Stare at The Men Who Stare at Goats



August 31, 2010


Confession Tuesday


The Men Who Stare at The Men Who Stare at Goats.



My last birthday was completely ruined. I had just turned thirteen and I was at Disney World at the emptiest time of year. How can anything possibly ruin that? You’re probably thinking. I will tell you what could possibly ruin that: ‘The Men Who Stare at Goats.’ That is what could ruin a birthday.



I had to sit through that! It was horrible! All I wanted to do was rip my eyes from their sockets. About twenty minutes through I looked down at my junior mints, thinking about a way to commit suicide with them. Anything but this.



Before the movie I kept begging my mum to take us to Zombieland and Saw VI. No matter how much I begged, no matter how much I pleaded the answer remained the same: “No, they are both rated R and Immi will be with us.” Despite the fact that ‘The Men Who Stare at Goats’ was rated R and had nudity in it! I could of lived a happy life without having to see George Clooney without a shirt.



There I was sitting in one of those really uncomfortable chairs they have at A.M.C. Having nothing to amuse myself with but a half-eaten box of Junior Mints, a Diet Coke and a little dancing stick figure that appears on my watch if I press the ‘light’ button. It pained me to think that just a few meters away somebody was watching somebody chopping their arm off or a zombie’s head exploding and then there’s me watching a movie about people that mind-kill goats, lucky me.



You would think that after such a horrendous birthday that my fourteenth would be epic, that is where you’re wrong. It will be spent on a plane. At least staring at the back of somebody’s chair for four hours will be better than one-and-a-half hours of goats getting mind-killed. To compensate for that the day before we will go to Planet Hollywood (seeing as I am now boycotting Red Lobster because I think that it is sick to ask somebody to pick a lobster to kill.)



Now you know how bad my thirteenth was. All because George Clooney though mind-killing goats was funny. Now, I’ve heard that somebody’s appendix blew up or something like that on their birthday, I say somebody to protect the persons identity…and it is totally not Jaye. Did I just give away the identity? Oops. If only I was so lucky, I’d blow up anything to get out of that movie.


Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed the story then follow the blog. SEE YA!



6 comments:

  1. Haha! Nice job Max! I almost laughed my brain out! I really liked how you kept describing that anything was better than the movie. I also liked how you mentioned Jaye's birthday was worse than yours, great job! Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahaha. Your story is again hilarious Max, I've seen some pretty bad movies that made me want to jump out a window.. Of course I just sneaked away and went to another movie, but your story was still really funny... Nice job,
    good blog.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHAHAHAHA! Nice Max i really liked your confession and how you described how the movies was really bad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. max i cant believe you still think about that movie you said it was going to be amazing before you saw

    ReplyDelete
  5. to jacob

    im allowed to hate whatever i want

    ReplyDelete
  6. nice metaphor max lol, good article i kept laughing the whole time. lol id rather have seen the movie :D

    ReplyDelete