Three Word Wednesday: I Blame Jacob

Three Word Wednesday

I Blame Jacob (IMPROVED VERSION WITH EXTRA STUFF)

Everybody that was here yesterday must have noticed the schools sudden decent into ANARCHY at around lunch time. Let me explain. Well, I blame Jacob after telling people that Paola and I were dating. That of course, WAS'T TRUE!! What I can't APPREHEND is how people can believe such nonsense that someone as completely and utterly beast as me would ever settle for someone as well, Paola-like as Paola…no offense intended to those unfortunate enough to be considered 'Paola-like'.

The rumor started seven months ago when Jacob and I rang Mehr's doorbell to see if she wanted to go swimming with us. We waited outside of her apartment for five long, boring minutes in her more than depressingly grey hallway.

"I don't think she's going to answer." I said to Jacob.

"Yeah. Let's go." Jacob replied with. So we left. Little did we know that over those seven months her anger would grow and grow and grow into a rage that she unleashed on Jacob and I on the bus. This (hilarious) little rage included the usual Mehr stuff, including such classics as: bipolarity, unnecessary shouting, three-year old child type silent treatment and domestic violence. After I was verbally violated I decided to inquire on Skype as to why she was so moody lately. After hesitation on her part she responded with the same verbal bullying we received on the bus, followed by three year old child type silence.

I'm never going to find out, I thought (I can't use italics because my mum's macbook sucks and I have to use that for the time being). So I asked Paola to ask why she was so mad as of late. Little did I know, Paola was going to receive the same 'bullyage' as I did. "Don't be mean to Paolina!" I told Mehr.

"What, are you two dating now?" She asked. (Because friends standing up for each other is most likely a new concept for her)

This should be funny, I thought (Insert italics right there) so I said "Yes, yes we are." and the CONSPIRACY to create the perfect lie began.(I consulted Paola before saying that). Mehr was then struck with envy most likely after that happened. So was jacob (probably) so he decided to spread the rumor as the truth (because he sucks like that). After I read this story out loud in class and told lots of people Mehr (not having any friends to gossip about it with) never found out so Paola and I had to fake a relationship for days until earlier today the frozen caveman was thawed out and found out.