Confession Tuesday: Annoying Cat

Confession Tuesday

Annoying Cat

*Quick Warning: If you haven’t seen any of the ‘Grudge’ movies (or ‘Scary Movie 4’) this won’t be as funny as it should be…or make as much sense. Yes I know that I just made it clear that I find myself funny. (Smugness is awesome)

I don’t really have a lot to confess to (seeing as I am so perfect (Smugness is awesome)) so I am just going to write about something that has been bugging me for a while.

For those of you that don’t know, I ride the bus. All of you know that busses suck (and mine is no exception). I spend two hours every day sitting on an uncomfortable chair, having me annoying sister hit me and listening to seventh graders try to sing Tik Tok (that really crappy Ke$ha song (yes I had to write Ke$ha with the dollar sign)) and failing. But then again, all of that is to be expected but there is something else…something evil. Everyday my bus passes by the UNICEF building and everyday when my bus passes by the UNICEF building there is a cat sitting on the front steps. It is fat, grey and looks much like the fat guy from Borat, (allusion to ‘Meet the Spartans’, of course the cat does not look like the fat guy form Borat).

The cats stare somehow manages to pierce the heavy, black tint on the window with his gaze. Whenever our bus passes it stares into my beautiful, blue eyes (smugness is awesome!). I stare back. It mindlessly stares at me (like Vigan playing video-games). Nobody else seems to notice the cat, maybe I am going crazy and seeing things (maybe having Mari in all of my classes is annoying me to the point that I am going insane) or maybe people are too afraid to return the cats stare.

The cat reminds me of that naked, little, Japanese boy from ‘The Grudge’. For those of you that haven’t seen the grudge the naked kid always crouches up into a ball makes a ‘Predator’ sound, meows and then kills you (I embed the trailer so you can see it and to grasp the concept). The cat is always sitting and waiting for me. I am pretty sure that one day it will get me…BOM-BOM-BOM!

*Me trying to make you feel like you are me typing the story…and failing*

Wait a minute I just heard a sound….Oh, false alarm ‘30 Rock’ has just started, (YAY!). But wait, there is another sound. Something draining out Alec Baldwin’s bad acting…it sounds like a…predator. Oh-no! (That was supposed to be dramatic). Hair seems to be forming on the corner of the ceiling (a sign of an undead, naked, Japanese person is about to kill you). If you are reading this then I am most likely dead…give this story to the government, or your friends anyone! I am witnessing paranormal activity…is that a- is that a little, naked, Japanese boy? Oh no! It is! And he’s…meowing!!! The horror! He is coming towards me, “No! NOOOOO! Get away from me….”